Journey
是网上一个妈妈推荐的无字儿童书，曾获2014年凯迪克图书奖。别看没有字，图也画得粗狂写意，但恰恰给了读者更丰富的想象空间和自我创作的可能，让孩子甚至成人都爱不释手。因为没有字，每个人都可以用他/她独特的视角为图画加上独特的理解、打造独特的细节、引申出独特的深意。书刚一借回来，儿子和女儿就争先恐后地各自用自己的语言讲了一遍这个故事给我听。显然两个人注重的角度不同，语言风格不同，加给主人公的心理活动也不同，真是越听越有趣，弄得我也边看边浮想联翩，忍不住写了一篇读书笔记。https://drdwgrowingtree.blogspot.com/2017/07/journey.html
后来去还书的时候才知道，原来这本书获奖之后，作者又连续出了两本续集 -- Quest 和 Return。小姑娘和小男生因为彩色蜡笔开始的梦幻之旅继续延续，最后把因为忙碌而忽视了孩子的爸爸也卷了进来。历经波折磨难之后，小姑娘和爸爸重新建立了关系，一同回家，首尾呼应，是为情感的回归。
既然孩子们有兴趣，我立刻把 Quest 和 Return 借回了家。既然他们喜欢这套书，喜欢照着书讲故事，我想不如把这当作一个练习写作的机会。孩子们欣然同意。本来说好两个人一人挑一本写，妹妹先挑了Quest，然后一根筋的哥哥说不写完前两本，他没法开始第三册。也好，一下写三篇，妈妈读得甘之如饴。
文章是要打磨的，记得我的一个写作老师就说改好一篇文胜过写十篇文。和小朋友坐下来一对一地把框架结构、遣词造句、段落衔接、逻辑细节慢慢斟酌修改，这个过程是我最想要带给他们的。
一开始两个人都是一段通底，让他们自己分下段，女儿分了，不喜欢又给改回去了。儿子分得挺不错，就是一开始没有这样的意识和习惯。中间有几句到底是分上还是分下，每段的长短如何决定，起承转合能不能更自然、更引人入胜，商榷之后儿子有了更好的主意，故事的逻辑关系更明了，脉络更清晰，他自己也同意读起来更加轻松，大大提高了阅读体验。
指代不清晰是另外一个常见的问题，尤其是当故事情节和人物关系不断趋于复杂。这个时候给人物起好名字的作用就凸显出来。女儿一上来就善于起名字，儿子有他的道理想保持人物的概念化，各有利弊，自己掂量吧。至于选词、句长、叙述风格、开头结尾的方式就是所谓写作风格了，女儿还给词语加了不同的颜色。童书自有童书的乐趣，这我不想改变他们太多，其实我从孩子那里也学到了很多。
孩子们写东西可能都不喜欢
proof-reading。据老师说，儿子改别人的文章都是一流的，但自己的文章是写完怎么也不愿意多看一遍，结果留了很多错别字和 typo 在那里，有的时候甚至让人不知所云，实在是一大遗憾。希望这样的练习可以让他们看到反复修改打磨文章的好处和乐趣，能够渐渐养成proof-reading的习惯。当然时间也是成本，deadline 是必须要遵守的，如何在完成和完美之间平衡，每人的个性可见一斑。
儿子女儿的习作，在这里留档，让他们过两年自己再来读读 :-)
QUEST
Told by: Alivia Chen
On a rainy day Sophie and
her friend Dave were on a bike ride. They stopped under a bridge because they
saw a mysterious door. Out popped an old man who had an
orange crayon, just like the
red
one in Sophie’s hand and the
purple one in
Dave’s hand. The man said, “Go find the other missing crayons”. He gave Sophie
the
orange crayon and a paper that showed
them where to find the other crayons. Suddenly the guards captured the man and
took him away. Dave and Sophie drew two keys and ran into the door. When they
came to the end of the hallway they saw a huge castle. Dave looked at the paper
and said, “Next we have to find the
yellow
crayon.” The
yellow
crayon was underwater, so Dave drew an octopus and Sophie drew all the
scuba diving supplies. The octopus led them where the
yellow crayon was, so they took
it and went back to shore. Next they went to get the
green
crayon. Dave drew a rhino to ride. The
green
crayon was on a super tall tower in the middle of the ocean. So they ran
through the swing bridge, climbed onto the tower and took the
green crayon. A group of guards ran after them so
Dave drew a big dragonfly and Sophie drew a swing. Off they escaped from the
guards and went to find the last crayon, the
blue
crayon. The
blue crayon was on a snow
mountain. Sophie gave Dave’s bird all the crayons and the bird flew across the
sky making a
rainbow. Everybody
was happy except the guards who were chasing them all the way. They found out
that the man they met earlier was the King of the castle. The King gave both of
them crowns because they found all the crayons. After waving bye to the King,
Sophie and Dave went back to where they started their quest and saw the
rainbow they
created.
THE END
QUEST
Aidan
The
bike had taken the trio for quite some distance, but it had started raining.
The girl, the boy, and the magnificent flying creature decided to take shelter
under a bridge in the park. Under the bridge was a door with a lantern shining
upon it. Suddenly, an old sage came through the door. He quickly shushed them
and held out a map with six colors on it. He told them that he had an orange
marker just like theirs and that they needed to go find the three other
markers. He also gave them a belt to carry the markers they had gathered. Just
as suddenly as before, guards from the evil emperor took the old man back
through the door. Just before the door closed, the old man threw his orange
marker to the children and told them to save the Realm. They needed to be
in the Realm but the door was locked. So the girl and the boy each drew a key
to unlock the door.
When they reached the other side of the door, they
found themselves right next to the palace. The guards had already started to
enter the palace on a boat with other citizens who liked color. According to
the map, the closest marker was the yellow one which was underwater. The
emperor, who was searching for the trio, was getting close and had already
spotted them. They both knew what to do; the girl drew scuba gear to travel
underwater and the boy drew an octopus to protect them. They quickly put on
their gear and dived deep down underwater with the octopus leading the way. The
marker was in the center of a ginormous temple. The middle glowed brightly of
yellow, undoubtedly caused by the marker. They quickly grabbed the marker and
swam towards the surface of the water. The emperor followed them closely
behind, but the army was no match for the trio.
When the boy and the girl
reached the surface, they found themselves near a tropical rainforest. They
knew they were close to the green marker. But to travel through the thick
brush, they needed to draw something strong and big, so the boy drew a rhino
while the girl drew the saddle. They rode the rhino into some Mayan-looking
village.
Away from the village was the tallest pyramid with
only a decaying, swaying bridge to reach it. They hopped off the rhino, ran
across the bridge and grabbed the green marker. But the guards had already
started running across the bridge towards them. They needed to draw something
quickly. The boy drew a giant dragonfly, and the girl drew a swing just in the
nick of time. The dragonfly was flying towards the frozen peaks, where the blue
and final marker would be found.
Up on the highest peak, there stood a monument, and
on the very top of the monument was the blue marker. They took the marker,
completing the collection of six markers. Unfortunately, they were flanked by
blimps from the evil emperor. They were trying to capture the majestic creature
which carried the belt of markers. As the majestic creature escaped, a rainbow
was created. The rainbow returned all the colors to the world.
A parade was held for the boy and the girl. They
were heroes. When they were returning back to their world, the wise man drew
two crowns for them proclaiming them king and queen of the Realm. The sage also
said a few words of thankfulness and farewell. When they returned to the park,
the raining had stopped and a rainbow was arching in the sky.
RETURN
Aidan
It
had been several days since the discovery of the other four markers. The little
girl had gone to the Realm many times ever since. Her dad was a cartoonist and
was busy making his latest graphic novel. She decided she wanted to go to the
Realm today, so she drew a door and left. Her dad saw her daughter’s kite, and
it reminded him of how less time he had spent with her. He decided to look for
her. When he arrived at her room, he found a wide open red door. When he walked
in, it was like fairy tale. The forest glowed brightly of red from the lights
and lanterns above. He saw her daughter’s ball on a dock and went towards it.
When he picked up the ball, a mechanical, Viking-like boat came down the river.
So the girl’s father hopped on. The boat came to the palace which glowed
brightly in the moonlight.
The river went through the palace and finally came
to a stop in front of a throne. The girl, the boy, the boy’s marvelous
creature, and the old man were waiting. The girl’s father called out to her,
telling her to come back with him. She refused. After all, he had been ignoring
her. Suddenly, the emperor, who was once banished, stomped towards them with a
strange box in hand. He told his guards to attack. Luckily, the old sage drew
an orange sword. He threatened the emperor and his guards, but the box that the
emperor was holding absorbed the sword in his hand and the markers in his belt.
Without hesitation, the guards captured the sage.
The boy quickly drew a griffin, a lion with wings,
and they flew away on it. The emperor got on his boat and flipped a lever. The
lever activated wings on the boat and flew after the griffin. The emperor then
sucked the griffin, leaving the boy, the girl, the magnificent creature in her
arms, and her dad hanging in mid-air. Thankfully, the old man grabbed the boy
by his hand, but the girl and her dad crashed into the ocean.
With her quick thinking, she drew a submarine. All
three of them then navigated their submarine into a cave. They looked at their
surroundings and found pictures engraved on the wall. The pictures seemed to
tell a prophecy - the story of the little girl and her friend, perhaps? Then,
at the end she noticed the part where they were at. They observed it and
noticed that not only did the girl have a marker, but so did her dad. Then,
they heard the emperor and his men. Quickly and silently, the girl’s father,
with his black marker drew a trap. The bait was the flying creature. After the
emperor happily absorbed the bird using the box, the trap caged the emperor. The
box was outside and the girl’s dad smashed it, releasing all the colorful
creatures and colors that had been absorbed. All the creatures gained their
freedom. The griffin carried the cage off into the distance.
When the girl and her father were on their way
back, the girl gave her dad a great big hug. Everything was forgiven, and when
they returned to their world, the girl and her father finally flew a kite
together.
