Surprise

        Nothing could be compared to the surprise and changes that Echo brought to my life. 

        I like biology and did quite amount of anatomy before going to college. Strangely, I could calmly handle live specimens in labs but was afraid of any animals in wild. A frog or a mouse crossing street would make me scream, a cat or a dog approaching me would make me jump. I hate to be licked -- my brother knew it well and used this as his weapon when he was little -- so owning a pet was absolutely not an option for me. 

        The rest of my family members all love dogs. Dog is part of my husband's American dream but he didn't push it because of my hesitance. My son is a natural dog lover, not only because he was born in a dog year, but also magically has had a special bonding to all kinds of dogs since he was a baby. My daughter was the one who kept on begging for a dog and actually did a great amount of research. Once a while she showed me some cute dog pictures, taught me some dog knowledge, and told me the traits of different breeds. She asked me what's my concern and promised that she would look for a dog breed that cover all of my concerns and meet our family's criteria -- middle-sized, active and healthy, capable to hike, low odor, does not shed, drool or bite too much... 

        Alivia is fond of all the dogs in our friends family, especially those who went out hiking with us, Alisha and Tobi. She had so much patience to take care of the dogs during the trip. She was excited whenever receiving dog pictures or videos from my brother, sister and other friends. From her eyes, I saw not only eagerness of companion, but tenderness and love grown in a young heart. Finally I compromised with only one condition -- don't let the dog get too close to me.  

       Based on her studies, Alivia decided to adopt a border collie, a cute looking, energetic and smart middle-sized dog. Border collie is not a very popular breed so it took several months to finally find one near us. The day to meet her was a big day. Without hesitating, we decided to bring her home as this adorable little one immediately melted our heart. Ironically that day was my birthday. Giving a dog to a person who rejects dogs as her birthday gift, what a surprise! We decided to call her Echo. The name was from a website that suggests dog names, but my daughter said, "maybe this is a sign, maybe this is a start full of hope, maybe this is a secret echo coming from bottom of your heart, eventually maybe you would be the person who loves Echo the most." 

       Echo didn't make Alivia disappointed. A month later, Echo became the only animal ever licked my hands; two months later, I could let her sit on my lap and hug her; three months later we could take a walk together -- yes, only two of us... Pet her, feed her, shower her, comb her, train her, hug her, kiss her, even talk to her... In return, she follows me, listens to me, trusts me, and comforts me. I could almost say I turned to be her favorite person! Her watery and innocent big eyes, her half floppy half erected ears, her lithe and agile movement, her head tilting, tail wagging, belly-up pleasing, her simple but genuine love totally wins my heart. 

        For my whole life, I never thought about owning a dog, not talking about being transformed by a dog. While this surprisingly happened. This little playful spirit opens a different world to me, and gave me a special feeling of joy. She can easily dissolve my frown, lift the corner of my mouth, and ease my mind. She injects joys and vitality in our daily life, she adds so much fun in our outdoor trips, she stirs my parental instinct again and made me completely accept her. For so many time when I look at her, I cannot believe the magic changes she has brought to me and feel so lucky to have her. Pandemic is a human tragedy, which isolated people and may permanently change the world. My world has been changed too, by this surprising and special gift. 

        "To love gives life purpose; to be loved gives life meaning". Now I have one more family member to love and to be loved! Echo is truly an echo from bottom of my heart. 

Pulled-Pork 肉夹馍

新学的 Instant Pot 版 pulled-pork，超高效，一下子炖出满满一锅，接下来可以变着花样吃好几顿。

锅底铺一层德国酸菜 Kraut，码进去7-8 lb pork butt

加调料：salt 1tbs，black pepper 1tbs，garlic powder 1tbs，garlic salt 1tbs，BBQ sauce 2cup, Paprika 3tbs （optional: liquid smoke ⅓ cup, chicken broth or water ½ cup）

充分混合拌匀，炖肉档，高压1h15m

自然冷却散气后，肉从汤汁里捞出，用叉子分成丝状，顾名思义 pulled-pork

加少许汤汁浸泡入味，加喜欢的辣椒酱、花椒油、芹菜丁、甜椒丁、香菜碎，就成了肉夹馍或者卷饼的灵魂。

馍可以自己烙，但是用 English Muffin 或者荷叶夹已经足够好。偶然试着用 baguette 或者 artisan roll 做底也相当好吃。

饼可以自己做春饼，但是用 tortilla 也不错，特别是Costco Tortilla Land uncooked 那一种，和 Sonoma La Tortilla Factory 的，非常劲道。

另外，用炖肉的汤汁和 spaghetti 做一锅酸菜烂糊面，也会让小朋友非常满足！关键的关键是要把煮了半熟的面放到汤汁里继续小火焖一会儿，让面吸足味道，把肉丝青椒丝盖在上面，回味无穷！

   

English Muffin + Kraut + pull pork + cheese 
- 320F bake for 2min, +cilantro 

Spring Messengers

        Magnolia is a type of popular plant in California. On one of the nearby streets in our  neighborhood, almost every house has a magnolia tree in its front yard. In early spring, they are the first blooming trees carrying either white or purple flowers. Every time when I saw them, it would wake up my sensation to spring and bring my mind back to my elementary school years.

        In the early memory of my childhood, the blooming of winter jasmine is the first whisper of spring.  Spring sneaks in in a very quiet way in Shanghai. When most of trees still have bare brunches without any budding sign, the slight poke from those small light yellow flowers can always bring me a warm and intoxicating smile. I thought spring always sends messages in this way till I was back to Beijing.

        In Beijing, the north part of the China, the spring announcement is louder and bolder, like the personality of people living there. Magnolia was one of the first blooming in our campus. Like the size of its flowers, the announcement is confident and proud in a full and clear tone. Before moving to California, I used to think magnolia is a super precious species as I only knew three magnolia trees in my childhood, two middle-sized white magnolia in front of the Main Building in Tsinghua, and a huge and old purple magnolia in Summer Palace. I thought they were specially precious because we visited them almost every year in elementary school during our spring field trips. The field trip was supposed to be exciting, however as it was associated with essay about the trees every time, the beautiful petals and elegant fragrance almost turned to be a nightmare in those years.

        Luckily, this “tradition” stopped when I entered middle school. Life has been going fast since then. After years when magnolia had finally been buried under dusty memories, one day I suddenly started missing those lonely and pure white flowers. I was glad to see them after moving to current neighborhood. I was glad to know it’s not hard to grow in California. I’m glad I could reconnect with it and now I know it is truly precious, in a different way.

Who Sculped in Time?

          Everyone’s time is unique. It is consisted of a string of memories. Within these beads of memory, some are specially shining, some were sculped in a special shape, some changed the track of time.  I don’t think I am old enough to name the most momentous bead in my life, but when I brush through the string of memories, I do have a collection of memorable moments, one of which was the day in my fourth grade year.

        I was quite timid when I was a child. I would hide behind my parents’ or grandparents’ legs and grabbed their clothes tightly when a “stranger” said hi to me. Initiating a greeting to neighbors was a hard task, even answering a simple question from close relatives required certain courage. One of my toddler stories was that one day when we visited Summer Palace, several tourists from UK passed by and thought I was cute; they waved hi to me while I suddenly lay down on the bench, covered my eyes with little palms, and waved back with my feet.

        My timidity did not go anywhere better when I started school. In the first three years, we were little chicks under cover. Since my academic grade was on the top, I was designated as the “class president”, but that empty title didn’t ask me to do anything special. Then it turned to be fourth grade…

        In the first day of fourth grade, we were told that we had entered into the “senior phase” of the elementary school and needed to start taking care of many things that were previously covered by teachers or other adults. Each class was assigned a new team of teachers. My new homeroom teacher, Ms. Wu, was a middle-aged female who seldom smiled. I heard she’s one of the best teachers in our school, in our district, even in our city, but also very very strict. I was not afraid of her, as her class was interesting and the homework was not too hard for me, until that Class Meeting.

        In the past, our weekly Class Meeting was always charged by the homeroom teachers, who would summarize the week, pass along or reiterate principle’s notes, instruct us to wipe the classroom windows, sweep the yard; twice a year, we would have field trips; when there’s spare time, we were given extra homework to do during that period. I never thought “class president” would need to prepare anything for the Class Meetings and was totally freaked out when Mrs. Wu called me out to lead the class that day.

        I don’t remember how I walked to the front of the classroom. The only thing I remembered was standing there with flushed face and blank brain; blood was frozen, time was frozen, each minuet was a torture and as long as a century. Finally, she let me go back to my seat and announced that we needed an election for a truly qualified “class president”. Each candidate should submit a proposal of the class activities for the semester and give a speech in a few days, and the whole class would vote right after that. A few boys raised their hands excitedly to join the campaign, then the teacher turned to me and said, “you could join as well if you want to”.

        Did I want to be the president? I don’t know. But I knew I had no choice but rise from where I fell. For the rest of the few days, I spent all my time brainstorming ideas and revising my proposal. It was my faith that I must wash away my shame. By the due day, I was the only person who submitted a proposal.

        Based on the rule, I was the winner. No matter the teacher liked or not, at least she knew I was serious and not easy to give up.

        For the rest of the semester, I had to follow my own proposal to implement the plan. Talking in front of 40 students was quite frightened no matter how much you prepared. I made so many silly and embarrassing mistakes. However, with such a traumatized start, nothing could be worse. My classmates may laugh at me, but Mrs. Wu never let me down since then. She always stood at the back of the room and looked at me with encouragement, sometimes with a subtle nod or shake, sometimes with a comment or correction, sometimes just a slight smile. One day I suddenly noticed that organizing and leading a class activity was quite manageable. It’s not a nightmare to me anymore.  

        She still criticized me, I still felt nervous whenever going to see her individually. I even hated her a little bit because she gave me hard time, but at the same time I liked her and admired her.  She didn’t only help me overcome the fear for public speech, but also the other fear — writing.

        I loved reading since I was young, but it didn’t turn me into a natural writer. My grandpa encouraged me to write letters to him since I was seven and my mom gave me writing assignments during the school breaks. They told me to write just as I talk, but how could these be same? Writing had always been a big burden to me. Surprisingly since Mrs. Wu took over, writing gradually turned to be my favorite part of the class. It’s a pity that I forgot what exact approaches or tricks she used to inspire us for writing, but several tips have been retained:
          1. Be real, be personal
          2. Rich vocabulary is secondary  
          3. A tiny raindrop could mirror the big world
          4. Just start writing

        Two years later, I won a National Writing prize for youth. Four years later, I joined a Young Writers Program to learn more about literature writing. Ten years later, my articles were published on College Magazines and Internet. Now I dare to use my limited English to write about my life. All these started from my fourth grade.

        Since then I could speak naturally not only in front of my class, but the whole school. I attended debates and speech contests, and even chose teaching as my career.

        The teacher who only taught me one semester and gave me the most shameful experience changed my life. “Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher.”

        Last week my kids were talking about their favorite teachers too. Aidan said it’s her English teacher in 9th grade.
         “You mean the most strict teacher in your high school? Did you get the only B in your whole school years in her class? ”
         “Yep, Yep! It’s not about the grade. I learned the way to appreciate literature much more and the class shaped my world view. She has a high standard and high expectation on us, which is precious in US schools in these days. I got an A from her in the second semester though.”

        Alivia’s favorite teacher is the one she has now in her Social Studies. She kept on talking about him — how he adjusts the curriculum to incorporate real life cases, how he allows students to debate during class on any social topics, how he’s willing to pause the textbook lessons and spend time to answer students’ questions regarding government, policies, and current events. Inspired by him, Alivia attended school district board meetings, listened to the State of the Union Address, decided to join debate team and take AP History in high school, discussed women’s rights with the other classmate, and the two girls even talked about opening a law firm together in the future. It’s still too early to say she found her direction for the future, but I saw the teacher opening a door and planting a seed in his student’s heart.  

        Someone is not only a teacher, but a awakener, a ray of light, a sculptor of life!

Childhood

         One of the challenges that raising children in a foreign country is that it’s hard to share our childhood books or cartoons to our children. Of course, there would still be generation gap under the same culture, however, cultural difference above it definitely made the inheritance even harder.

        When I recall the stories I liked in my childhood, I would think of Zheng Yuanjie, Bingxin, Journey to the West , A Deer with Nine Colors, YiXiu the smart little monk, The Flower Angel, The Little Mole…

        I tried to introduce these stories to my children, however, it’s hard to impress them as these characters are not commonly known among their friends. What they were talking about were Dr. Seuss, Thomas, Five Little Monkeys, Dora, and Nemo; even Simba was a little out before the film was remade in 2019.

        There were a few exceptions, which are Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Tom and Jerry. It seems numerous stories have been developed on these silly characters over years and there would never be an end. I was so happy to watch the old episodes and new ones together with my kids, and burst out laughing in the same way, which brought me back to those precious Sunday evenings when I was young. At that time, there were no VHS, VCR or DVD; one episode a week was all we had. No matter how many years passed, children’s joy is universal.

        I was glad to go through another childhood with my children in a different culture. Together, we discovered children’s books, learned children’s song, played children’s game. These were all new to me. Sometimes they learned in school or from their friends, then I leaned from them. What a fun experience! Some of the books I remembered reading with my son include: The Cat in the Hat, Five Little Monkeys Jumping in the Bed, The One and only Ivan, Wonder, The Giver Quartet, Masterminds, Where the Red Fern Grows…  Gradually they also extracted a little bit of their parents’ memories, such as The Lion King, ET, Sun Wukong, Mulan… I hope multi-culture will eventually bring them a richer life experience, like what I received, instead of any confusion that makes them lost.

We are Siblings

    I was not with my little brother when he was born. My earliest memory about him starts from his round and soft face, red lips, big eyes with long eye lashes. He was about two years old, wearing a bright red jacket that I had worn before and a fuzzy blue Bennie. He was so adorable and no one could confidently tell he’s a boy or a girl. When people asked, he would shock them by answering “I’m a boy” in his super scratchy voice. I don’t know if it was embarrassing to him, but it’s fun to see other people’s reaction after hearing that. He had a very good sense of pitch, tone and beat since he was a child. However, no one believed he would be able to sing a song because of his scratchy voice that accompanied him till his teenager years. Surprisingly and fortunately, his voice turned to be deep and clean after the changing period. He fell in love with singing and is an attractive singer, even a “mic hog”, in karaoke.

    In my childhood memory, my little brother was the most adorable boy in the world. I was willing to give him all of the cute names I knew, including those I learned from cartoons. Cutie pie, sweet dough ball,  Little Mole, Denver the last dinosaur, Yixiu the smart little monk… I liked to rub his face and played our secret games with him under the quilt.

    At the same time, he was also super naughty and sometimes annoying like typical boys. He had tons of energy everyday to plays tricks. Luckily he liked sports too which consumed most of his energy and saved me. His early years were devoted to soccer and often played it till it was completely dark. Later when my mom bought Ping-Pong and badminton sets for us, my brother quickly mastered the skills as well and turned to be a competitive Ping-Pong players in his school. He was selected to join the track and field team when he’s in elementary school. The most impressive thing I remembered when he was about 9 or 10 years old was that one day he came back home to tell me he decided to quit 100/200m but train for 3000m. I was surprised because he liked sprint. But he said too many boys wanted to do sprint as it’s fun; although he’s one of the top runners, it’s hard for him to secure champion every time. He found he had a much higher chance to win in 3000m, the longest distance running in his age group, as much fewer people were willing to devote into such a hard endurance training. That was the first time I admired my brother.

    My younger brother is super dedicated to anything that he is passionate about. He was a varsity basketball player in his high school and college. The extra training hours he put in was tremendous. He fell in love with guitar when he was in high school and spent hours after hours to practice chords, even on toilet seat. He likes movies. After watching the same movie numerous times, he could recite the actor’s lines precisely and taught himself Cantonese through it. He likes video games as many other boys and without doubt he was one of the best players in the games he played. I prayed he would find the same passion on his school work one day so he would be the top student in academic. Unfortunately this never happened.

    I have to say he is a very different person as I am even though we are from the same parents. The way he opens this world is from an aspect that I didn’t understand and could not accept at that time. Only till mid-age, I could see his colorful life more clearly and start appreciating such a different lift style. Of course, it’s also partially because he established his career and I saw him turn to be a responsible husband and father. I regret I gave him too many lessons when he was young because he’s not a typical model student as I was. I regret I didn’t spend time to communicate with him in his way and see a different world from his eyes. I could have learned more from him.

     He probably has different options. Once he told me that he suddenly realized how much influence I was on him when he chatted with his friends. Although both of us denied it for many years, actually what we are alike is much more than what we are apart. After all, we are siblings.

Dear Grandparents

    I was born in a Tiger year. My grandparents said it was a good year. I am their first grandchild and surly caught much attention, especially from my grandpa. Although he tried to treat all of his grandchildren fairly and actually did very well, I always know I am his favorite one. We had similar personalities, interests and values. We spent years together, visited each other, wrote many many letters to each other till he was too old to write. The bond between my grandparents and I is extraordinary. They are my first lighthouse, and forever anchor of life. 

    When I was one and half years old, a deadly earthquake occurred in Tangshan, a city about 100 miles away from Beijing. To escape from the aftershock, my parents sent me to Shanghai to stay with my grandparents temporarily. Well, that was the original plan. Later the temporary stay turned to be much longer, eventually more than four years till I had to go back Beijing for school. From what I heard, part of the reasons was I refused to go to daycare, which was what I had to do in Beijing since both my parents were working, and the other reason was my grandpa could not bear to let me leave him. 

   Grandpa had not been retired at that time. Most time of the week, my cousin and I stayed with Grandma. My grandma is a very gentle and elegant lady, never spoke loudly. She was raised in a well family, with maids and a big house. Unfortunately everything changed after wars. She had to learn to take care of all the chores and raise children by herself. My cousin is several months younger than me. Grandma was our first teacher, teaching us reading, writing, calligraphy, math, Tang poetry, as she did to my father, uncle and aunt. She must be an excellent teacher, as my father, uncle and aunt all went to top schools and have admiring calligraphy. My grandma loves Tang Song poetry and Yue opera. For many years after I returned to Beijing, I always recite one poem or ci for her at the end of my letter. Those poems soften my heart and connect her to me every time when I read them. 

    Sunday was absolutely the highlight of each week. Living in a busy and crowded city like Shanghai, kids had rare opportunities to play outdoors. In sunny Sundays, Grandpa would bring us to parks to meet his brothers and friends. Sometimes we got a treat, sometimes a book; I read every street name and shop sign along the way, but my favorite part was to climb in the playground. Other people said I was "too bold to be a girl", but Grandpa told me girls had no difference to boys; girls could be able to do everything boys could, like Mulan. He never said something like "dream big, fly high", but I knew he would support all my adventurous decisions and encourage me all the way along, because he was also an adventurer. In the year when he was 15, he traveled to Qiantang River by himself to shoot pictures of the famous high tide. And in the year when I was 15, he experienced some adventurous moments together with me and witnessed my growth. 

    When I was 15, my whole family was in America except me, so my grandpa came to Beijing to live with me for a year. That was my last year before high school. School work was heavy and I was sometimes stressed out, hiking at weekend is something soothed me. Simply packed with bottle water and some bread, my 73-year-old grandpa and I were heading to places we both liked. We stopped at creeks to refill water, bought watermelons for lunch, explored unpaved trails to avoid the crowd and seek other creatures. We didn't have GPS, maps, or even trail signs back then, but never got lost in mountains until one day. I could not tell if Grandpa was panic because he's always calm in my mind, but I knew I was not because I had him by my side. It was such a long day that we encountered many up and downs, critical turning decisions, even discussed overnight hike. Luckily, around 9 o'clock in the evening, after another hill, we saw the village and bus stops from halfway of the mountain. Although there was still over an hour to finish, we were so happy to find our way...

    Grandpa and I always have something to chat, from history and culture to science and philosophy. I used to lie down on the floor by his bed and chat with him till falling in sleep. Grandpa started learning English when he retired. He read newspaper and novels in English, listened to radio stations in English, taught me grammar and vocabulary, and even started writing letters in English with me. I have a box in my drawer keeping all of his letters to me from my elementary school to graduate school. My last letter to him was placed by his head at his funeral. I believe he has carried it with him in heaven. Nowadays although I don't physically write letters to him anymore, I often wrote one in my mind and received his messages back. 

    I will forever remember the old time when my grandma was preparing my favorite dishes, I was the only one being allowed to sit besides my grandpa when he had a small glass of wine before dinner, and took a lick of the wine from the tip of his chopsticks. I can smell the delicious dinner, which is the smell of yearning. 

Chinese New Year

        Believe or not, I didn’t like festivals when I was a child. Wired, right? Chinese New Year was the favorite festival for almost all kids, including my younger brother. Delicious food, new clothes, TV shows, game time, no homework, no disciplines… My brother’s favorite was definitely firecrackers, which he could play day and night for weeks.

        But I would rather find a quiet corner to hide during holidays. Visiting relatives was a big burden to me. The only comforting place was one of my cousins’ house because she is as “antisocial” as me. When we met, after the basic curtesy to greet each elder, we quickly locked ourselves in a room to talk about the books we read, the pictures she painted, and the music we appreciated. She even likes Laosheng in Beijing Opera and Kun Opera. Time went fast in our small world.

        I didn’t feel at ease to be antisocial and actually made efforts to be more cheered up in Chinese New Year’s celebration. I helped my mom clean house, wash bedsheets, cook festival meals; I played firework with my brother and skated on icy lake with my friends; I did enjoy the time to make dumplings and watch TV with all the family members, but all of these were not truly satisfying celebration in my mind. I remember in one of the New Year’s Eve, I felt I should do something for myself, something to celebrate the festival in my way. Luckily, a flower shop was still open in the late afternoon of that New Year’s Eve, so I brought back a bunch of red carnations to decorate the house. Carnation is not typical New Year flower that florists would recommend, but I like them as it is meant to signify love, fascination, healing, and strength, and has a long flowering period. That’s probably the most memorable Chinese Year’s Eve in my teenager years.

        Chinese New Year turned to be more meaningful only after I went to Canada. Just like home, it is something that is more clearly defined only when a distance exists between us. I had some cool and memorable celebrations during the years I was studying abroad along. I started skiing and waved to New Years on the top of snow mountains. I biked to downtown to see festival lights in a -40F night; my eye lashes turned to be mini icicles. I hugged with my best friend to welcome the new millennium; my tears welled up at the moment when the glorious fireworks illuminated the sky above us in the Inner Harbor. I traveled many places to chase dreams, but nothing could replace the gathering with Chinese friends at Chinese New Year to create an extended family in a foreign land. When Chinese food is not a default any more, we learned to cook one after another traditional Chinese dishes to create a taste of home.

        Finally family was settled when kids were born. Home suddenly has a new layer of meaning. Suddenly you are not the one who has to follow all the family traditions reluctantly, but the one who creates traditions for the family. You don’t have the option to treat the New Year’s day just as another exciting day, but are counted to open the window for your kids to understand Chinese culture and history. Many things I didn’t care before turned to be happy obligations. We dress up together with Tangzhuang Qipao, hang red lanterns, post red “Fu”, cook New Year dishes with special names and blessing meanings. Over the years, my daughter learned to make dumplings, sweet rice bowl (八宝饭), sweet dumplings (汤圆), even 酒酿。They learned to speak and read Chinese, laugh at Chinese comedy shows, and be able to appreciate Chinese cultures. I can see one day they will carry over the celebration and carry on this memorable festival in their life.

Name, The Beginning of One's Life

    When does life begin as a human being? Begins at fertilization with the embryo's conception? At zygote implants in the uterus? At neuromaturation, heartbeat formation... or at the birth of a newborn? There are many arguments and behind these arguments are scientific, medical, and mortal discussions. I am not going to write an essay on ethics, but just have a thought about the beginning of another type of life, a human being's social life. I think it begins at the time when he/she is given a name.

    The beginning of my life story started with my name.

    How did my parents pick up my name? I never heard the story about the naming process, but I'm sure, as all the parents, they spent much time to find a good name with a special meaning that carried their love and all the best wishes to me. And, like many parents in China, they also asked for suggestions from elders in the family. I knew that I had a name when I was born, and by the time to file paperwork, it was changed to the current version which was given by my grandpa.

    I like both versions. They are not typical feminine names but bring up a bigger view to life and the world. The first name "Di" means "inspiration", and the pronunciation of the last and first name together, "Wu Di" implies "no enemy" "no opponent" or "undefeatable". The latter one "Wei" means "luxuriant” “azure” or “celestial”, and the pronunciation of the last and first name together, "Wu Wei", implies "brave" or "fearless". For a long time, I thought these two names are carrying very similar moral messages --- a person without an enemy is surely fearless, and a person's courage is derived from his/her undefeatable mind. However, I had a different understanding when I was in my 30s.

    One night about 10 years ago, I met my dear grandpa in a dream, who helped me to see the fundamental difference. No enemy or opponent is a hard conclusion to make as it involves endless comparison. However, fearlessness is an universal attitude towards all challenges, which is something we can control. Fearlessness has nothing to do with success or failure, but only about a brave heart. 10 years ago, I was so delighted to have this finding and wrote it down in Chinese. No matter if it matched Grandpa's original thought, I believe it was a calling he sent to me at that time. My dear grandpa was the first lighthouse in my life and the forever anchor in my heart...

PS. My first name "Di" turns out to be used in my kids' Chinese names. This is also a legacy.

2022, A New Start

This is not the way I expected to start 2022. No… not at all…

We just spent 10 fabulous days, a white and shining Christmas in Vail and Denver. Every day was full of joy and adventure brought by nature and human creation. It was another “dream come true”. After almost two years of lock down, we finally decided to take a flight. With all the thoughtful planning and cautious movement, we kept in good shapes all the way until the last day when Aidan started a sore throat, and that was the beginning of the two-week episode…

I didn’t expect I had to curled up in bed and fell into lethargy on the first day of the new year; I didn’t expect we had to repeatedly run to the COVID tests in two weeks trying to convince ourselves we were truly infected or negative; I didn’t expect four of us had to be isolated in four bedrooms using Facetime to get together at dinner time, and wait till the 12th day to finally hug and kiss each other; I didn’t expect we may bring potential risk to the friends around us… This is not an exciting way to celebrate the new year.

An unexpected and sudden drop from an overjoyed peak is what I have been always afraid of and tried to avoid it in many ways. However, the reality is, no matter how much has been prepared, sometimes, something just happen, inevitably, and you have to face it and deal with it.

The other half the reality we can choose to see is… it is grateful that, after only 36 hours of slumber, my body shaker off all the soreness and woke up as fresh; it is grateful that, although developed certain symptoms one after the other, all four of us have been recovered quickly and back to school/work as normal; it is grateful that what hit our us was omicron, a so called “non-GMO, green and natural vaccine booster”, and with this unplanned booster, we don’t encounter that much of anxieties many other school families are experiencing when the case number is rocketing up in campus right now…

Life is going on. The New Year’s Day could be a day after New Year’s Eve, but could also be a new start we set up for ourselves. I am grateful that, through this unexpected and sudden drop, I am learning to face the surprise instead of being panic about it, communicate to dissolve the awkwardness but not escape from it.

All the surprises, pleasant or frightened, could be the gift from heaven…

Right, one more surprise… which is this STORYWORTH, from my dear sister BFF. She’s afraid it might bring me too much burden. I won’t think so. It may be a pressure, will be a commitment, and is definitely a challenge… but I am glad someone throw it to me and I’m going to take it as my new year resolution!

2022, my Tiger year, this is a good way to start it!!

PS. my daffodil, also a gift from my dear sister BFF, starts blooming!

Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Bread

 Ingredients (Makes 12 servings):

• 1/4 cup butter or coconut oil, softened
• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 1 cup applesauce
• 2 tsp ground cinnamon
• 2 packets instant apple cinnamon oatmeal
• 2 eggs
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour

Directions:

• Cream together butter and sugar until light and fluffy
• Add applesauce, cinnamon and one pack of instant oatmeal
• Stir in the eggs one at a time, beating well with each addition
• Mix in the baking soda and flour
• Pour batter into lightly greased and floured loaf pan (9"x5")
• Sprinkled with the second package of instant oatmeal, or insert apple slices and a pinch of sugar
• Bake in preheated 350F oven for 60 min; cover the pan in the last 15 min if needed. 

我家的 2021

每一天很长，每一年很短，一生还没有过完，到终点是不是会觉得稍纵即逝？ 

脑子越来越不记事儿了，多亏有微信，用来当日记；可也是因为有微信，连 blog 都写得少了，更不要说日记。短平快的年代，作者和读者的耐心都越来越缺乏，我们该给岁月留下些什么？

读过的书：

《Before the Coffee Gets Cold》

        孩子们推荐的书，原文日文翻译成英文的小说。虽然中间的节奏不是很紧凑，很像日本文学的风格，但每一个部分的结尾都有打动人心的地方。据说也有影视版本。

《The Code Breaker》

        现在读书听书速度大不如从前，续借了两次，才把这本书完成。Walter Isaacson 是王牌的传记作家，写完爱因斯坦、乔布斯、达芬奇等人之后敏锐地把目光转向Jennifer Doudna，在她获诺奖之前就开始了深度的探访，从她的朋友同事学生甚至对手那里多角度入手，尽量还原出一段段或平凡或曲折或艰辛或传奇的研究探索历程。

        整书的重点当然是讲Doudna 和她的合作伙伴Charpentier研发CRISPR的过程，两个教授加两个博士后，身处三个国家，顶着时差高效沟通合作，只用了8个多月的时间就把CRISPR的机理基本搞清，抢先发表了论文。接下来这项技术在人体内应用的开发竞争更加空前，和张峰的恩恩怨怨也从那时开始。科学不可能永远纯粹，落实到应用一定有利益和权力的争斗。后来又有野心家贺建奎、嬉皮风格的biohacker，以及越来越多在科学伦理边缘试探的故事，前前后后还有不少关于James Watson有争议的介入。

        全书的第七部分，Moral Questions，其实是最吸引我的几章，有脑洞大开的期许和兴奋，也有对未来太多可能性的担忧。科学家们努力破解的是上帝藏在自然之书里的密码，但一扇门被打开之后，何去何从，人类最好不要得意忘形到去扮演上帝的角色。

        11月去了趟Berkeley校园，儿子还专门指给我看书里提到的 Doudna 和她的同事进行的一次重要约谈的咖啡店，还有每一个诺奖得主的汽车和自行车车位。 领 tour 的学生说她入学的时候听说有一门课是Doudna教激动不已，结果临时被通知换了教授颇为失望，但最后发现替换的老师是另一位诺奖得主，又是惊喜过望。伟大的科学家就在我们身边，鲜活而真实，令人敬仰但也不可能完美无暇。这本书不光叙述事件，也描写对比了其中大大小小人物的性格，以及他们性格对事业发展的影响，蛮有趣的。

看过的影视：

《山海情》-- 没想到一部乡土电视剧会如此有吸引力，真诚的故事和真诚的表演真的是可以打动人心的。

《Big Fish & Begonia》-- 周深唱的主题曲让这部影片深入人心，但故事却让人不那么舒服。连我看起来都觉得有些莫名，在西方文化里长大的两个孩子更是一头雾水，更不要说共情了。 

《Searching》-- 印度导演，讲的韩裔美国父女的故事。环环相扣，严谨缜密，不愧是高智商的杰作！既表现了亚裔家庭的传统，也刻画了一个内敛坚韧智商超群的工程师父亲形象。

《A Brand New Life》-- 韩国的孤儿电影，忧伤的文艺片

《饮食男女》-- 居然是儿子坚持要看的。教 AP 中文课老师推荐的，体会东方文化。不知道孩子能看懂多少。

《The Bookshop》-- 灰蒙蒙的文艺片

《The Circle》-- 因为有 Tom Hanks 才打开看，但整个片子只有 Tom Hanks 能看得，孩子们都边看边叫演得惨不忍睹。但故事所要表达的理念还是好的，以 Apples 为造型的高科技公司，最终是为人类带来便捷安全和平还是带走自由和自我？

《Florence Foster Jenkins》-- 梅姨的电影不会让人失望。近乎荒诞的故事，也许就是某些人的人生。

《The Terminal》-- Tom Hanks 演幽默也一样到位。

《Scent of a Woman》-- 早就该看的电影，经典确实是经典。

《Nomadland》-- 赵婷在奥斯卡一夜成名，却在中国毁誉参半。电影技巧确实不错，开启一扇窗口看向同一个地球上截然不同的世界。游牧人生，也许是一种选择，也许是因为没有选择。

《The Age of Adaline》

《Sideways》-- 从Pismo Beach 回来被朋友推荐的电影，其实从前看过，但全然不知讲的就是这里的故事。

《The Father》-- 肯定是新的经典

《Julie & Julia》-- 不同年代的女人，都在自我实现的路上努力寻找。今年渐渐喜欢上烹饪，也喜欢这部电影。

《Luca》-- 妹妹期待很久的动画电影，关于梦想，关于友情，Pixar 的片子不会错。

2021 年走过的路

        旅行都取消了，只好在家门口转悠。幸而后院有足够多的 trail 可以给我们走，精彩的窝边草一时半会儿也吃不完。从四月到六月，每周一Hi (hike), 非常治愈！

• Antelope Valley / Red Rock Canyon
• Carizzo Plain National Monument / Soda Lake
• Avila Beach, Pismo Beach, San Luis Obispo Bay, Oceano Dune
• Solvang, Ostrich Land
• Big Sur, Garrapata State Park - Calla Lily Valley
• Monterey Bay / 17-miles
• Fremont Coyote Hills 
• Cronan Ranch - California Poppy
• Brown's Ravine State Park - Folsom Lake Lupine 鲁冰花
• Blackstone Canyon Trail
• Red Lake Peak - Echo 第一次的10K，孩子们第一次负重至一万英尺 
• Yosemite Ten Lake Trail，Grant Mt，俯瞰 Yosemite Grand Canyon
• Point Reyes National Seashore， Lighthouse，Cypress Tunnel
• Ansel Adam Wilderness - Thousand Island Lake 
• Shenandoah Valley Wineries
• Grass Valley / Nevada City
• Venture and Santa Barbara - 里根图书馆，SBMA， Douglas Family Preserve
• Half Moon Bay / Santa Cruz
• UCBerkeley
• 10 days in Colorado - Vail，Keystone，Beaver Creek Ski Resorts, Denver, Gardens of Gods，Meow Wolf...     Sierra 滑雪场被大火烧了，高中滑雪队不得不临时改变计划，转为 Epic Pass，包括了向往已久的 Colorado Vail！于是全家人下决心飞去了Denver！ 

 

2021 年大事记

• 努力磨练滑雪技艺。儿子一季滑了25天。
• 儿子第一年参加的ORHS滑雪队，获得赛区第一
• 儿子15岁的生日趴，小心翼翼地全户外活动，绿色健康
• 女儿正式成为 Teenager 了，和好朋友骑车野餐度过生日
• COVID 疫苗，1+1+booster；孩子们 1+1
• 人生第一次 RV 之旅： Antelope Valley, Red Rock Canyon, Carizzo Plain National Monument, Soda Lake, Avila Beach, Pismo Beach, San Luis Obispo Bay, Oceano Dune, Solvang, Ostrich Land, Calla Lily Valley, Garrapata State Park, Monterey Bay, 17-miles, Fremont Coyote Hills, Cronan Ranch
• 儿子的第一门AP考试，中文AP，5分通过！
• 女儿当选校学生会主席！
• 女儿发起 Recycling 101暑期活动，给 fellowship 的小朋友组织夏令营，还到 EDH Waste Management 总部去参观，得到一致好评，还有感谢信和礼物。
• 儿子 Summer Intern - 
• 三次 backpacking：Yosemite Ten Lake，Point Reyes National Seashore，Thousand Island Lake
• Echo 的第一次 backpacking, 学会游泳啦！
• 重返 TAZ 游泳队，Alivia 稳居全队前三
• 儿子整牙完成
• 河南水灾
• 延期一年多的东京奥运会终于举行，中美争霸，孩子们第一次如此投入地追踪奥运会
• 邻居Frank爷爷去世了， Alivia 做了cookie 送去以表思念
• 加州大火肆虐，开不了窗，出不了门，连店都关了
• Echo 一岁生日！
• Aidan 做MO 数学课 的 TA
• Alivia 入选学校排球队！
• 儿子参加学校的 Marching Band，每周五为橄榄球赛助威，每周六去参加比赛，OR满载而归！
• Shenandoah Valley Wineries　二人世界
• 和女儿一起参加 mini-triathlon 
• Grass Valley / Nevada City 秋叶采风
• 独自开车去 Venture/Santa Barbara 约会，去安抚一颗疲惫忧伤的心
• Half Moon Bay / Santa Cruz　二人世界
• 和儿子女儿一起感恩节长跑　Run to Feed the Hungry 
• 带着儿子女儿和 Echo 去攀岩
• 女儿参加学校的 Running Club, 和朋友们一起参加 Santa Hustle 长跑
• Colorado滑雪之行　－　Vail，Keystone，Beaver Creek Ski Resorts, Denver, Gardens of Gods...
• 全家感染COVID，最终有惊无险，顺利通关

2021 Backpacking

2021 Backpacking 之一  【 Father's Day 专辑】

— Yosemite Ten Lakes + Grand Mountain

Day 1:  清晨出发，中午赶到wilderness center 取徒步许可。公园限流，入口排队半个小时，接受野外须知再教育又半个多钟头，快两点才开走。Ten Lake Trail head by Hwy120 (Tioga Road)，路边有两个停车场，非常方便。晚上在Halfmoon Meadow之前扎营。

Day 2: 拔营翻山，在山脊左侧有一处可以俯瞰Yosemite Grand Canyon。再下降1000ft到湖边的营地。不嫌累的我们本来已经跋涉到了更远的一个小湖，盘算着可以享受包场的感觉，结果翻过去一看，湖里没鱼，于是又不嫌累地折腾回来，发现还是大湖边最好，开阔平整，🐟多🦟少（相对的），还有溪涧活水，可饮可浴，要是蚊子再少个95%，那就完美了。

Day 3: 清晨有人垂钓，有人补觉，上午登顶Grand Mt.，下午回营地玩耍放松。晚上继续吃鱼生火。

Day 4: 拔营回家，孩子们一心要早点回家接狗狗，急行军般地下山。下午两点回到停车场，要不是爸妈们拉后腿估计还能早一个钟头。

从长度和高度上来说，Ten Lake Trail 可以是 dayhike 一个不错的选择，但是只有重装背上所有家当，在湖边扎下营住下来，才能不负自虐，开始享受奢侈而高潮迭起的野外生活。

从营地走30米就可以钓鱼🎣游泳🏊🏻‍♀️。有高手同行就是幸福，带着专业的鱼竿鱼饵，两天钓到🔟条🐟，鱼片香煎，肉质细嫩，鱼骨熬汤，羹汁鲜美，人间美味啊！爸爸和孩子们勇敢地跳进冰冷的水里，游泳渡到湖心小岛上。本以为大功告成，可以返程，但儿子坚持要去大岛后面的小岛，结果惊跑了鸭🦆妈妈后，居然发现了一窝还是热乎乎的鸭蛋🥚。当然只有大人们动了一秒钟的邪念，孩子们是绝不会伤害生命的。

湖里有鱼有鸭不足为奇，林间有鹿也不算意外，但鹿蹄缓缓，在我们的帐间穿梭漫步，和我们相伴左右，实在是令人难以置信。他们和我们是如此地近，眼神是如此地温柔，以至于可以听到他们的喘息和耳语，以至于女儿已经给他们起好了名字，Gregory 和 Sally 🦌

趁着上午清凉，轻装登几个山峰⛰️，都是dayhike很难到达的地方。沿着山脊，一边是碧玉般的湖水，一边是层峦叠嶂的Yosemite Grand Canyon。连儿子都说，不走到这里，真不知道Yosemite如此之大，以为只有valley里的一点。

国家公园对徒步野营有很细致的规定，比如每天每条线路上只发放一两打的许可，人多抽签，一人一年最多只能抽到一次签。还比如，只允许在海拔 6K-9K 之间生篝火。我们的营地刚刚好8965ft，有 park ranger 从前搭好的直径一米的fire ring，有周围取之不尽的干枯松木，有石器时代的劈柴法，我们痛痛快快地生了一晚上火。这样的治愈，千金难觅。

在蛙鸣中入睡，在鸟鸣里醒来，伴着蝉鸣午餐，随着篝火噼啪发呆。天为被，地为床，溪涧潺潺是背景音乐，松香隐隐是芳香疗法。怪不得有身处人生低谷甚至绝境的人，会在一次或长或短的徒步之后，重获新生。

2021 backpacking 之二 【国庆节专辑】

 — Point Reyes National Seashores

有山有海有雾有风，有负重有穿越有烤肉有啤酒🍺，这里是北加为数不多的可以兼顾BBQ 的backpacking 路线，怪不得有朋友从老三一岁起就年年全家来这里徒步野营，怪不得有同事多年前就给我种草。

Glen Camp在山林里，好处是没有海风海浪，晚上睡觉踏实，但走到海滩还要近2迈。Wildcat Camp守着海滩，据说晚上睡觉要裹紧睡袋戴上耳塞，不过也不会有被雾水打湿的问题。海滩永远是孩子们的天堂，踏浪🌊画沙追鸟🐦挖沙蟹，还一时兴起甩起海藻跳起大绳。

北上Sculpture Beach和Secret Beach本来是期待中的行程，不料因为去年的火灾和近时过高的潮位，只好改去南下看瀑布。Alamere Fall是加州著名的入海瀑布之一，现在比春季的水量确实少了很多，而且从山上下到beach的最后一段步道颇为“tricky”，park ranger几乎建议我们放弃。但不曾想，正是这段手脚并用的攀爬，成全了此行最精彩的章节。得失成败，实然因果相承；山野人间，也不过一念之隔。 

2021 backpacking 之三 【收官篇】

— 千岛湖 Thousand Island Lake

千岛湖，名字听起来就很浪漫，实际上景色更浪漫，只是要进出徒步17迈+4150英尺的海拔变化不是太浪漫。但一路上湖光山色，Silver 、Agnew、Gem 、Clark、Thousand Island、Emerald、Ruby、Garnet 星罗棋布的Lake，Carson、Banner 峻峭高耸的Peak，再加上出发前一天宿营的June Lake，烧烤、划船、钓鱼、游泳、跳水、攀岩、孩子们欢声笑语、狗狗们嬉戏打闹，情侣庆祝结婚纪念日，这四天五夜的跋涉，不枉辛劳！

千岛湖是 Ansel Adams Wilderness 中间最美的三大湖之一。以摄影师命名的地方风景果然无与伦比，不同角度距离、不同时间光线下的山水花草变幻万千，百看不厌。 千岛湖的水清得让人心醉，不要说孩子们，连我都忍不住跳进冰冷刺骨但清冽净澈的水里，游上湖心小岛。慕名前来的 hiker 也多，以至于有些特别的区域要专门划出来拒绝扎营好让植被恢复。水里的鱼也比别处的机灵，无论我们怎么耐心就是不上钩。但早起的鸟儿还是有回报的 — 老公早上 5:30 爬起来拍下的了无涟漪如镜的水面，水面上山峰完美倒影，再披上朝霞柔粉的金光，真的是比日头当空的时候又迷人了百倍。

这次再度走了一小段PCT，遇见了好几个容装出奇整洁的 PCT hiker。难以想象从5月底出发的他们怎么走了那么久还是容光焕发，我们才在外面几天就已经归心似箭。倒是另外有一队人马，看上去风霜尽染，我们理所当然地当他们是 PCT hiker，却被告知他们是维护步道的修路队，要在野外连续工作两个月左右。他们的眼神里看不到疲惫艰辛，反而是满满的享受和成就感。山野之中这么多的崎岖小路，他们是令人钦佩又感动的存在，也是真正全身心热爱自然的人。